I know this may sound like something that would be a no-brainer, but it has been a struggle for Snow White and I to allow the dwarfs to learn and to mature. The difficulty arises when we feel like we don't want to allow them to receive the natural consequences of their choices (mostly the bad ones). We have come to realize that rescuing our dwarfs in this manner is not the best idea.
We weren't born to avoid consequences. There was a time when I misused a power tool. I disengaged the safety mechanism. I new the risk, I made the wrong choice. The consequence of it was that I received a very nasty injury. It was a little too late to say, "but that isn't fair", or "Can i have a different consequence?" I would have loved to avoid the consequence of my bad choice, but that isn't how life works. Sure, sometimes we get lucky and seem to avoid the result of a bad choice. It seems to catch us in the end.
When we were recently visiting a justice center, there were some youth there who had made some bad choices. The parents of these youth were also making what we thought was also a bad choice. They were simply paying the fines incurred by the misconduct of their children. Now, I say to myself, "How will the children learn to be responsible for their actions if their parents bail them out?" I have realized that if my dwarfs make bad choices, it isn't my responsibility nor my desire to "bail them out". I certainly don't have that kind of money, and have a hard enough time paying for my own mistakes.
Everyone has a different way of recognizing the difference between a good choice or a bad one. I tend to learn from my own experiences. I certainly haven't disabled the safety mechanism on my power tool since that injury. See, I really can be taught. I hope to allow my children all the opportunity that I can so that they can learn for themselves.
PC
